


get down like there's no one around

by blazeofglory



Series: umbrellakink fills! [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gay Bar, Gen, Humor, friendship fic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 20:18:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18948097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: The year is 2007, Britney Spears is on the radio, and Klaus and Diego sneak out to go to a gay bar.





	get down like there's no one around

**Author's Note:**

> for an umbrellakink prompt!! 
> 
> title from, of course, the iconic 2007 Britney Spears jam "Gimme More."

“I can’t believe we even got in,” Diego yelled, barely audible over the loud Britney Spears song playing, and he grinned at Klaus over his glass full of what tasted like 90% rum and 10% coke. It was absolutely disgusting, but Diego was drinking it anyway, and he kind of loved it. He loved everything about this bar. Everyone was so _nice_ , the bartenders served them without a second glance, and for _once_ , Diego and Klaus could just relax and feel like the rebellious teenagers that they so rarely got to be. God, if Dad found out they’d been partying at a gay bar, he’d _kill_ them, and that made Diego enjoy the experience even more.

Honestly, Diego hadn’t planned on sneaking out with Klaus at all, but Ben had a cold and Klaus didn’t want to go alone, and Diego is a good brother, god damn it.

“They know me here,” Klaus replied with a smirk, looking ridiculous in a mesh shirt and tight pants-- where the hell had he even gotten clothes like that? The only non-uniform clothes that Diego owned were the jeans and black tshirt that he was currently wearing. Ridiculous or not, though, Klaus fit in-- other than looking visibly younger than just about everyone else in the bar, Klaus really did look at home here. The bartenders all knew him by name and three separate guys had already bought him drinks. “I’m the belle of the fucking ball!” 

Diego laughed, feeling more relaxed than he had in a very, very long time. He was about to suggest they down their drinks and hit the dancefloor, when yet another guy came over to them, handsome and shirtless and grinning at Klaus. Diego rolled his eyes, amused at the way Klaus lit up from the attention. 

“I’d offer you a drink, but you’ve already got one, so I’ll offer you a dance instead,” the guy said, and Klaus laughed easily.

“How bold of you,” Klaus teased, as if he wasn’t openly ogling this guy’s chest, and Diego snorted in amusement. Neither Klaus nor the guy paid him any mind.

“You’re the cutest bottom I’ve ever seen,” the guy replied with a cocky grin, leaning in to tuck a curl behind Klaus’ ear. “I couldn’t resist.” 

Klaus was so _easy_ for attention and affection; Diego was hardly surprised when Klaus wrapped his arms around the guy’s neck and kissed him hard. Diego turned back to the bar, not interested in watching his brother suck face with some buff dude, but he couldn’t stop smiling as he drank his disgusting drink. He was happy for Klaus-- after all, this was why they’d come to this bar at all: so Klaus could be with other gay people. Diego would’ve been way more surprised if the night had somehow passed without Klaus hooking up with anyone.

Eventually, Diego finished his drink (and then two more) and wandered off to go dance on his own. It felt so _good_ to let loose-- between the alcohol in his system and the bass he could feel in his bones and the easy rhythm he found in the crowd, Diego almost felt high. It was a rush, it was _heady_ , it felt amazing. He danced with anyone that asked him, every man that smiled at him and didn’t touch his ass right off the bat, and he tried not to think too much about how much he liked it. He was just here for _Klaus_ to meet men, not for himself. He wasn’t even interested in men!

Except, well, Diego was definitely interested in the guy grinding against him and pressing hot kisses to Diego’s sweaty neck. _Huh_.

What felt like ages later, after Diego had _kissed a man (!!!!)_ and received a phone number written on his arm, he found his way back to the bar. Klaus was back there too, though Diego had seen him wander off to the bathroom with some guy (a different one than the one Diego had seen him kiss) a little while before. Diego leaned against the bar, nudging Klaus with his elbow, and his brother turned to him with a wild grin.

“Diego!” Klaus slung an arm around him, pulling him into a sweaty hug, and Diego laughed. “What have you been up to, you sly dog?” 

“I haven’t been up to as much as you have,” Diego replied easily, and Klaus laughed too. Diego stared down at the phone number on his arm with a dopey smile-- he would tell Klaus all about it and his surprisingly panic-free realizations about his sexuality later, when they wouldn’t have to shout over the music. But there was one thing he was dying to ask Klaus, too curious to wait. “What did that guy mean earlier? When he called you a bottom?”

Klaus laughed harder, letting his arm slip from Diego’s shoulder as he braced himself against the bar, shaking with laughter. Diego, mildly amused, ordered them a round of lemon drop shots and waited patiently for Klaus to stop cackling.

When the bartender brought their drinks, greeting Klaus like an old friend and giving Diego a hungry look that made him blush, Klaus finally stopped laughing long enough to take the shot.

“Well?” Diego pried, once he’d downed his shot too, savoring the sweet taste and the slight burn.

“Okay, so,” Klaus started, still giggling. “It’s, like, a sex thing, you know? When two men love each other very much--” 

“ _Klaus_.”

“Alright, alright!” Klaus waved his hand dismissively, almost knocking over their empty shot glasses. “The bottom is the one who takes it and the top is the one that, you know, gives it.”

Diego blinked. “ _It_ as in dick?”

“Exactly,” Klaus agreed with a snort. “I knew you’d figure it out.” 

“But he just _assumed_ that you’re a bottom?” Diego pressed, still confused and, honestly, super drunk.

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m a total twink,” Klaus said, as if that explained anything.

“You’re a what now?”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Klaus groaned dramatically. “I’m young, skinny, pretty, and gay. A twink.”

“This is a lot,” Diego replied, and Klaus laughed again, flagging down the bartender and ordering them cosmos, because apparently that’s the point they’ve reached.

Klaus patted Diego’s arm condescendingly, and Diego rolled his eyes.

“You’ll get used to the lingo,” Klaus assured him magnanimously. “Lemme think what else I should tell you… Oh! Bears are, like, really big, hairy, masculine guys, like that dude over there.” 

“Tops, bottoms, twinks, and bears,” Diego mumbled, too quiet to be heard over the loud Usher song. “Oh, my.” 

They sat there for a bit longer, drinking their cosmos, as Klaus chatted with the bartender, catching up on a shit ton of gossip that Diego half-listened to. But eventually, the bartender was summoned to the other end of the bar, and Klaus turned his attention back to Diego with a smile.

“Any more questions?” Klaus asked, a mischievous look in his eyes as he pointedly looked down at the numbers on Diego’s arm and then back up.

“If you’re a twink and a bottom, what am I?” Diego asked, his drunk brain struggling to compute what it all meant.

“Well, I thought you were straight and I was wrong there, so I don’t think it’s on me to supply other labels,” Klaus pointed out with a laugh. “You don’t gotta figure it all out tonight, don’t worry.”

Klaus picked up his cocktail glass and gestured for Diego to do the same-- they clinked glasses, pinkies out because it always made Klaus giggle when Diego did it too, then they promptly chugged the remains of their very pink drinks. Klaus stood, only wobbling for a second, and he grabbed Diego and led him back to the dancefloor. The night was still young and Diego felt _wild_ , and he was more than content to stay out dancing ‘til the sun came up.


End file.
